< Table Of Contents

First-Year Associate

by Miriam Marks


From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: BarTrip <aroundtheworldin22days@groups.newmail.com>
[Subject] bar trip photoz
1:34pm, August 23

all, my album full of our trip photos is linked here. note that portrait mode was applied sparingly, as it should be in most cases. i truly enjoyed beaching, eating, drinking, and otherwise celebrating with you all for three weeks, and i expect to see those of you staying in nyc frequently!! i also demand photo cred for anything that appears on the gram!!!! <3 <3 <3

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: BBLS Exchange <bbls-buy-sell@bbls.edu>
[Subject] Looking for roommate, luxury 2BR, Midtown East
8:11pm, August 24                                  

Recent JD grad looking for roommate in Midtown East luxury apartment. Building has doorman, full gym, swimming pool, roof deck. Near all major subway lines as well as walking distance to most of the big Midtown law firms. Rent $2,100/month with 9/1 start date.

Your roommate (me) is newly a lawyer, friendly, easygoing but clean, doesn’t want the party to come home, will join the party out, and probably won’t be home very often because of work.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom, Dad
[Subject] found a roommate!
3:04pm, August 26          

already found a roommate! new person is a friend of a law school friend who graduated last year, working in finance. I’m not too worried about personality matches since neither of us will be around much. also, Dad, I know the place is expensive, but everyone I talked to last summer said that living walking distance from AWG more than paid for itself.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] first week at AWG
8:49pm, September 3

hi Mom,

sorry I didn’t get around to calling, my first week at work was really long (but not all work, at least!). the firm wanted us to enjoy day #1, so it was like last summer’s schedule. we spent most of the day in orientation, then lunch, more orientation, then drinks, and some of us stayed to go out to dinner. I’d been to the lunch place before because the tapas down the street are the hiring partner’s favorite outside Barcelona (he said). dinner was at some new celebrity chef’s SoHo location. I can’t remember the name but I’ll find out and I can bring you and Dad there for lunch if you visit over the holidays.

the rest of the week was roughly the same with fewer meals out and more work. I was able to leave by 7pm today, though, and there’s nothing urgent this weekend. they gave us work phones, which we’re supposed to keep on all the time.

most of the people I worked with last summer are still here, which is great, since I feel like I have a good set of friends in my associate class and the older years. plus it turns out I’ll be on a team with that partner who brought me to the circuit court hearing last summer, Jon. he’s a big deal in the firm, and I have a feeling his mentorship will be useful because some of the older associates seemed jealous that we sat next to each other at dinner and talked a lot about his current case. he’s also hosting a yacht party for the new associates on labor day!!

I’ll give you a call after that to let you know how it goes.

love, T

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Jordan <jordanj1995@newmail.com>
[Subject] meet up soon??
1:32am, September 14

 i started work a couple weeks ago—it’s WILD. i’m already on this huge case (can’t really say much, but let’s just say it’s in the news, and our client is a big company). i’m working with this team headed by a partner who took us out on his yacht over labor day weekend and said next month we’ll have a retreat in the hampton’s. the hampton’s!!! (i haven’t been yet, ok?) anyway, let’s grab drinks in midtown sometime??

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From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Jordan <jordanj1995@newmail.com>
[Subject] Re: Fwd: upstate winetasting for sam’s bday
11:42pm, September 19

ha! as if i could take the whole weekend off… wish i could make it ☹

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] Happy Birthday!
11:37pm, September 26

happy birthday, Mom!!!!! hope you’ve had a really good day—what’ve you been up to? could you hear my voicemail? I was worried that the subway noise got too loud in the background.

I’m still at work, otherwise I’d call on my way home. I’ll try you this weekend. also check the mail tomorrow.  We got our first paychecks, and I know you said your old Kindle was giving you trouble ☺

love, T

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Sarah C <sec986@bbls.edu>
[Subject] Clinic brief
11:08pm, September 28

Hey Sarah,

Hope your job is off to a really good start! I’d love to hear about your work at the immigration policy institute so far, it’s great that you’re putting our clinic work to immediate use. I’ve been at work a few weeks, and it’s good but already really busy.

I was wondering if you could send me the final copy of the brief we wrote together in clinic—I’d like to use it as a writing sample (with full acknowledgement that it was a joint project, of course) for my clerkship applications as well as for whatever else comes next after AWG.

Let me know, and thanks!

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] busy week
10:31pm, October 1

hi Mom,

work has been pretty busy, but today my team submitted the big motion we’ve been working on, and I left the office at 8pm and got drinks with some of the other associates.

my last student loan letter went to the home address, so can you forward it to my NYC address? I told you I already started payments, right? Dad and I went over the numbers, and I’ll be able to pay off everything in only two years since I saved a lot from the last two summers. I like the work here, but maybe in a couple years I can think about doing something in immigration like the clinic I did in school last year. I haven’t gotten to do any pro bono work here yet (the public interest projects you can do at a big law firm), but they said that’s usually reserved for more senior associates. I don’t see Jon much, but my supervising associate thinks I’m doing really great work and says I can help with an immigration asylum case once this trial is over.

okay, now gonna start the new season of that spy drama you and Dad recommended!!

love, T

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
Bcc: . . .
[Subject] taylor’s GOLDEN 25th birthday
10:44pm, October 10

all, it’s almost that time: yours truly turns 25 on the 25th!!! in honor of this historic occasion, let’s ring in my mid-20s at GoldBar. meet outside on 10/24 at 11:45pm. see you all there.

what: taylor’s 25th birthday

when: 11:45pm on 10/24

where: GoldBar

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Professor Perry <aperry@bbls.edu>
[Subject] Thanks again
11:08pm, October 22

Hi Professor Perry,

I wanted to write again to thank you for your clerkship recommendation letter. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet heard back from the judges on my application list. I believe you said you had personal connections with at least two of them, and I would tremendously appreciate it if you were willing to follow up with them directly. I’m flexible as to timing in the next two years (or more) from now, although I would prefer to remain on the East Coast near my family.

Best,

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Adam G <adamg@newmail.com>                                 
[Subject] Keep in touch
9:08pm, October 26

Hi Adam,

I wanted to follow up using your personal email address to express how much I enjoyed working with you last summer as well as for the past few weeks. I’d also love to chat about your new career adventures, since AWG probably similarly won’t be in the cards for me forever. Let me know if you’re free to grab a drink sometime soon? My number is (917) 864 5954.

Best,

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Jordan <jordanj1995@newmail.com>
[Subject] meet up
1:12am, November 1

ugh phone died again. let’s grab drinks this week? i want to get your thoughts on something…

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Alex L <alexl@newmail.com>
[no subject]                                                                                                                             [Draft]

ive been thinking about you today, your birthday. you’ll obviously get a casual text from me to that effect. our gestures at normalcy matter to me, too, don’t worry.

how are you? what’re you doing today? how will you celebrate? is there someone new you’ll be celebrating with? these are the things i wonder and won’t ask. along with: do you also write me email drafts and then delete them?

i’m ok. that’s pretty much the only way to describe it since my job consumes everything. work recently hit a lull as my team wrapped up some big projects, so for now i can work “normal’ hours and try to do some big-picture thinking (as you always encouraged me to do that) about future goals. i’m taking all the steps: figuring out how to keep applying to clerkships, talking to someone who just left the firm, looking at other kinds of law. you always used to talk about fulfillment, which i think i understand a little better now, although i still think it was easier for you to be fulfilled with your interests. if i were fulfilled by investigating everything terrible about the tech industry and still getting paid six figures for it, i’d be a journalist too. other than work i manage to see friends around midtown. my family is fine, although my dad’s mom isn’t doing well health-wise. and my dad is going to retire from work next month, which raises some other questions about money, but that’s nothing new.

by the way, thanks for the birthday wishes, i guess. i’m not sure if it was easier or harder for me to get the generic text that you’d probably send to anybody. and i was kind of surprised you didn’t realize it was my golden birthday, but i’ll just assume you didn’t know what that is (weirdly a bunch of my friends didn’t). i had a good time, though, got people together at a club. it... was the first birthday of mine where it didn’t feel weird that you weren’t there.

that’s enough for now. happy birthday, alex.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] thanksgiving
9:08pm, November 19

hey Mom, I know I thought I could come home for a few days around the holiday, but I’ll be lucky if I can get Thursday/Friday off. we got a new case, and I’m on it with Jon and some senior associates. so I’ll take the train down on Thanksgiving day and then come back Friday, probably. let me know if I can bring you a treat from the city. I forget who you invited over, but if the younger cousins are coming, I’ll pick up a box of Milk Bar cookies or something.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Jordan <jordanj1995@newmail.com>
[Subject] Re: Fwd: Your Favorite Artists in Concert Near You
2:19am, December 10

ahhh while i would so love to see the chainsmokers live, i don’t wanna spend hundreds of dollars and have to bail if work is too much.

speaking of… need to chat. the place on 48th, this weekend?

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] in the news
10:54pm, December 21

hey Mom,

Dad sent me the news article today, so I’m assuming you saw it too. Guess you two did remember the name of my firm! kidding. Well I just wanted to say that the article isn’t entirely accurate. We’re not representing them in court, we’re just providing strategic advice right now. And it’s not like any of us actually support what’s going on, but big companies are trying to comply with existing law, and our firm can provide that type of help. None of this means we endorse what our client’s doing on the border, and we’re certainly not enabling it.

anyway, has Dad said anything about the hospital bills for Grandma? I can call this weekend.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: BarTrip <aroundtheworldin22days@groups.newmail.com>
[Subject] news article
10:58pm, December 21

since almost all of you have sent me this individually… bringing back our bar trip group to clarify to all of you together.  AWG is providing “strategic advice” (buzzwords, sure, but accurate). it’s not like i’m flying to the border and building immigration detention camps myself. and it’s not like i’m staying here forever, either. I worry about it, but i also know that i’m learning a ton about how this works so that when i switch sides—which i will!!!—i’ll really be able to make a difference. plus jordan’s over there defending wall street banks, so it’s not like anyone’s totally innocent (jk sry, jordan!).

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Sarah C <sec986@bbls.edu>
1:12am, December 23
[Subject] Chat sometime?

Hey Sarah,

Hope you’re having a good holiday season! Feels like forever ago that we were working on that immigration hearing motion in clinic, but I guess it’s only been a year.

In any case, I was wondering if you have a few minutes to chat over the phone in the next couple weeks? You probably saw the news about AWG (where I’m working), and I was hoping to get your thoughts on a few things.

Thanks so much,

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] train tomorrow
11:23pm, December 23

I should arrive around 10pm, can you pick me up at the station? And then I have to head back on the 26th, but I can definitely visit Grandma in the morning. we can talk in person about the hospital bills. I’ll bring some more Milk Bar cookies, and I got Dad the new fancy camera for his budding birding career (but shhh, it’s a surprise!).

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Ben W <brw831@bbls.edu>
[Subject] Plaintiff-side work
3:07am, December 29

Hi Ben,

It’s been awhile since Property with Professor Black, I hope all is well. Our mutual friend Jordan reminded me that you’ve been doing plaintiff-side work for the past year and a half, and I’d love to hear more about it. What practice areas are you in at the moment? I’m also very curious whether and to what extent doing corporate defense work can be an asset for laterals at your firm (and how often your firm takes laterals, with what kind of experience, etc.).

Thanks so much,

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] update and sleeping advice
11:04pm, January 2

hey Mom,

work hasn’t slowed down. our team meets once a week, and even though we’re working for that client, I’m trying to ignore that and just do my job. some of the other associates (the senior ones included) seem less comfortable. Jon keeps reminding us that we do plenty of good work and that we can’t be judged by one client here or there. yesterday he pulled me aside to say he appreciates how hard I’m working and everything I’m doing, which is great but also probably means he can tell how tired I am. what were the OTC sleeping pills you said you were taking last year? I might need to try something stronger than melatonin.

ps hope you and Dad had a good New Year!

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Katrina L <katrinal1989@newmail.com>
[Subject] coffee this week?
9:09pm, January 4

Hi Katrina,

Emailing at your non-AWG address—can we get coffee one afternoon this week? Maybe after our team’s client call on Wednesday? I’m hoping to get your feedback and also advice on a few things.

Thanks,

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] meeting w/ Jon
11:01pm, January 9

so today I met with the partner Jon, I think he’s meeting with each person on the team one-on-one because of all the news coverage. I assumed the worst, but he told me he really valued all of my work and could count on me to get the job done. he asked if I was doing okay and told me to take the weekend off, so I can take the train down Friday. let me know what you think.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Dad
[Subject] financials
10:52pm, January 11

I’m going to be home this weekend, so can we sit down and go over all the hospital bills for Grandma as well as my student loan paperwork? And, seriously, work is fine! don’t worry about me making smaller payments.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Bill; Stephanie; Katrina; Charlie
[Subject] Re: united front 
10:59pm, January 13

hey all, I don’t think it’s enough just to keep this off our AWG emails. let’s just get on a call.I’ll follow up in a sec with a free conference line.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: BarTrip <aroundtheworldin22days@groups.newmail.com>
[Subject] Re: uh oh, Taylor’s in the news again
2:26am, January 16

rly appreciate that y’all use this group to record AWG’s ongoing media presence. yes the firm is still working w the prison company. at the risk of defending myself, i’m learning a lot here. that company is literally one client in a portfolio...most of which are nothing like them. there’s rly no such thing as a perfect firm with a clean slate.  and the partner on my team told me yesterday that i’m “indispensable” to our prison client and the work we’re doing. but, hey, that’s what i get for going to a firm that doesn’t have like 10,000 attorneys in it (hi, Jordan!).

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] Re: News about your firm
2:36am, January 16

hey Mom, yeah, this more or less happened. a bunch of associates sent a letter saying they didn’t want to work with the company anymore. i didn’t sign it. someone leaked it to the media. more over the phone. we’ll see what happens…

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] meeting update
10:54pm, January 20

so AWG had a big meeting today, but it wasn’t like the meeting lasted ten minutes and then we decided to go ahead with it. Jon was there for an hour and a half (which is like my salary’s worth of his billable hours).we went over all the ethics and other issues having to do with the representation and talked about how important it was to resolve this problem the right way for both sides as soon as possible. Jon was REALLY mad about the letter. he said he respects the associates for taking a principled stand, but he probably hates that it got leaked and definitely is trying to figure out who wrote it. i’m glad i didn’t sign it. plus it’s not like signing the letter would actually change anything.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Clerkship Office <clerkshipoffice@bbls.edu>
[Subject] Question about recommendation letters
12:05am, January 25

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Taylor, and I graduated with a JD last year. I believe your office still has my faculty recommendation letters on file. As I consider applying to clerkships again, should I still rely on these letters, or would you recommend that I use more current letters from supervisors at work? I ask only because the school has emphasized that letters should come from faculty. If that remains your advice, for how long will your office keep the faculty letters on file?

Thanks,

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Katrina L <katrinal1989@newmail.com>
[Subject] Hope we keep in touch
9:12pm, February 4

Hi Katrina,

Just wanted to say that I’ve really appreciated having you as a colleague these past six months. You’ve been so helpful in teaching me the nuts and bolts of litigation, and I’ll always remember how patient you were as you helped me master very basic tasks.

I want to emphasize, also, that I really respect your decision to leave. I know it probably wasn’t easy, and you’ve given me a lot to think about (in a good way).

I hope we keep in touch, and I wish you all the best.

Taylor

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: BarTrip <aroundtheworldin22days@groups.newmail.com>
[Subject] Re: Re: Re: uh oh, Taylor’s in the news again
3:17am, February 8

glad at least one of you will back me up. there was no way i could sign the letter without burning a bunch of bridges for the  the future. i can’t leave right now. and i don’t think they could fire me, but they could make my life truly miserable and basically force me out. plus i’m getting along better than ever w my mentor, and i gotta be on his good side if i ever want to get a clerkship or get out of here.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Jordan <jordanj1995@newmail.com>
[Subject] CONGRATS
10:59pm, February 16

dude. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! federal. district. court. that’s huge!!! selfishly i’m also glad you’ll still be in new york (even if brooklyn). everyone seems to really love EDNY, and your judge sounds amazing. remember me when you’re a famous clerk, ok?!

(and also let me take you out to celebrate this week??)

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom
[Subject] mid-year bonus!
9:52pm, March 2

so I got my paycheck today, and it was WAY more than I expected. Since I’m me, I emailed HR right away to ask why, and they said discretionary mid-year bonuses were given to some first-year associates. I’ll call with details 🙂

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>

To: BarTrip <aroundtheworldin22days@groups.newmail.com>
[Subject] Re: Andrew’s goodbye party
1:14am, May 1

another one bites the dust. can’t believe you’re already leaving nyc!!!!! i hear the west coast firms let you leave at 6pm and wear jeans/flip flops to work (kidding abt the second part). would really like to hear the story of how you pulled this off, Andrew!

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Alex L <alexl@newmail.com>
[no subject]
[Draft]

alex,

even though you won’t read this, part of me always thinks that just typing out my thoughts causes you to feel something. maybe you get a sense that i’m out here in this city, thinking about you and wishing you well, and hoping that you wish me well. on the train this morning, i read your latest article about facebook’s data privacy breach with the new dating service. i can only imagine how much you probably loved researching and writing it. also a good extra reminder for me to get back in the game, as it were.

it’s been more than a year since we last talked, i think? i wasn’t at my best. if you remember how much of a mess i was during law school, i was even worse while studying for the bar exam. a lot has changed since then. i’ve written to you a few times (not that you’d know) and feel like, if i ever ran into you on the street, you’d be fully caught up.

i know that our differences in opinion on what a job is and what we do with our lives were just one of many problems we had. you’ve probably seen awg in the news lately, although i don’t know if you connected the dots to me. i hate writing it down, but here it goes: awg is the firm that’s representing the private prison company building immigrant detention centers. ive been at awg for almost a year. i’ve come to enjoy my job.

it’s obviously not that i believe in this work, i don’t. and i don’t want to be here forever—no one does. this is temporary for everyone (except the partners, i guess). as we know, it pays. i’ve still been exploring my options—you always told me to do that. But it’s not that easy. some of my friends got clerkships, one recently left a big firm for a smaller one in california. maybe my grades weren’t good enough, or not being on law review was a problem, or i didn’t go to an ivy league college. i’m not sure. but clerkships have escaped me, and most other jobs in government or in-house work require more experience. i need to be close to my family. i need to help them out financially. i need to pay off my student loans.

plus there’s a partner here named jon. he’s been so supportive making sure i take time off when i’ve worked too hard and giving me feedback on all my assignments. most associates don’t get that kind of attention from partners at all—honestly i think i remind him of a kid he wished he had. jon isn’t a bad guy, he actually just donated like $100K to this immigration organization (funnily enough, where my old clinic partner sarah works now). we had lunch yesterday, and he told me that my focus and drive are rare, and that he thinks i can contribute “tremendously” to the firm. he’s the best mentor i could hope for, and he’s the only person who makes me feel like im good at what im doing. for what it’s worth, you used to be that person for me.

i don’t think i’ll write again, alex.

____________________________

From: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
To: Mom, Dad
[Subject] one year at AWG!
11:55pm, August 30

Emailing you both because I had my annual review yesterday. and they think I’m doing a GREAT job, especially given how the past few months have been going for the firm. and there’s a salary bump going into my second year as an associate! Will call to fill you in tomorrow.

____________________________

From: Ariel C <arielc@newmail.com>
To: Taylor S <taylors@newmail.com>
[Subject] running late
6:05pm, September 2

Taylor—

this time my phone died, but I had to let you know I’ll be a little late tonight and will see you at 8:30pm (not 7:30pm) because of a work event. let’s meet off the Bleecker 6 stop, like we planned before? also, I mentioned I was dating a lawyer, and my roommate showed me this Times article about some shitty firm that defended private prisons operating immigration camps along the border?? Um lol I hope that’s not your firm!!! kind of kills me that the firm’s name is “Allis, Well & Goode.”

anyway, see you tonight! A


Author's Note

Our FASPE Law program focused in large part on the question of how seemingly good people become bystanders to injustice. We examined, in particular, the extent to which bright-eyed, idealistic young lawyers may find themselves defending clients involved in morally charged matters. As one example, we discussed the role of attorneys at the elite firm Cravath, Swaine & Moore in providing services to Credit Suisse as part of Holocaust restitution litigation in the late 1990s. We examined an internal memo circulated at the firm—since made public—in which young Cravath associates protested the firm’s decision to represent a Swiss bank that collaborated with the Nazi regime to launder gold looted from victims of the Holocaust. The memo’s author, as well as the associates who signed on, found Cravath’s involvement morally reprehensible; others at the firm were convinced that they were helping Credit Suisse to do the right thing some fifty years after the events took place.

Countless law school graduates have been in similar situations, and many have stayed at their firms. As I attempt to illustrate in this story, I would guess that this willingness to stay stems, at least in part, from a deep-seated need for validation. Not only do high-achieving young law graduates want a good return on an expensive and lengthy legal education, but many of us want to feel as though we uniquely add value to our employer. We want to be good at what we do more than we necessarily want to do good.

Taylor is a present-day illustration of this trade-off. After one year at AWG, Taylor realizes that their (or his, or her) sense of self-worth is maximized by being a highly valued associate. As a result, Taylor begins to enjoy the position. Taylor pursued but was unable to obtain other opportunities and opted not to continually experience failure in their ongoing effort to be “good.” Furthermore—and like most law school graduates today—Taylor is constrained by a number of socioeconomic circumstances that would not easily permit the pursuit of a dramatically different legal career with a much lower salary.

The willingness of individual bystanders to permit—and sometimes facilitate—injustice in order to further a sense of self-worth was very much on display in our learning throughout FASPE. Members of the Hitler Youth, the SS, the Polish militia: at an individual level, many simply wanted to excel in their prescribed roles. Some faced the possibility of death were they to defy the constraints of the law or acceptable societal norms, but others simply wanted the validation that comes from being good at something. This choice of whether to be “good” or “good at” was, in my opinion, also well presented in the film dramatization of the Wannsee Conference. There, high-ranking German officials who sought to be “good” eventually opted to be “good at” Nazism. By eventually vocalizing support for the Final Solution, they chose to be “good at” being obedient, at following orders, at courting the approval of their superiors, and at acting out the values of the emergent Third Reich. Perhaps, had they insisted instead upon being “good” by opposing the Final Solution, they would have lost the sense of self-worth that stemmed from having attained high-ranking positions within the Party. Of course, they might also have lost their power, wealth, and lives.

Particularly in the modern legal context, the question remains: Does being “good” necessarily need to be diametrically opposed to being “good at?” Perhaps one strategy for a young lawyer such as Taylor is to rely on pursuits outside of their career to derive a sense of self-worth. Activities that remind one of humanity beyond one’s professional work, I think, are a critical part of giving ourselves space to more intentionally evaluate the significance of our actions.

I intended this story show not that Taylor could easily make a more ethical decision, but that Taylor faced a very difficult dilemma. And, by acknowledging that those who fail to be good may be constrained by many complex and deeply human factors, I challenge us—myself, my peers, those at FASPE and beyond—to develop even more compassionate and empathetic strategies for the promotion of ethical decisionmaking in the legal profession.


Miriam Marks was a 2019 Law Fellow. She is a federal judicial law clerk based in Brooklyn and soon to be a plaintiff-side class action attorney based in the San Francisco Bay Area.